Saturday, February 7, 2009

February 7, 2009

Okay…  I am mad (borderline pissed off).  Yeah, I’m highly angry right now.  I have weighed again and it appears that over the past 4 to 5 days I’ve gained 3 lbs back.  What really upsets me about this is the fact that I’ve cut back on the amount of food I eat.  I’m more conscious of what I eat.  And, I’ve even been exercising some (some is a lot more than I was doing).  But, I guess it’s just not enough.  This is so discouraging.  Since I started this diet I’ve only gone over 1 day on my calorie intake (and that wasn’t by but a few calories) and maybe 1 or 2 days on my fat intake (again a very miniscule amount)…but does that matter?  Apparently NOT.  I take that back.  I’m not borderline pissed off…  I AM PISSED OFF.

I am at war with my fat now.  If it wants a fight…a fight is what I’m going to give it.  IT WILL NOT WIN OVER MY MIND AND MY DRIVE.  NOT THIS TIME.  Damnit!  If it takes walking or stair stepping til I pass out; then so be it.  Come 2010 I will be at least 275 lbs.  I WILL.  Screw you FAT.  You’ve messed with me long enough…and you’ve won out long enough.  I hate you.

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